It's been a week since I last blogged (which feels
like it was years ago) and let me just say, I nailed it when I wrote about how
homesickness would hit me. I wrote on Tuesday morning, and by Wednesday, I was
exactly how I said I would be - teary, missing home, snuggled up in my cozy
blanket from home, eating chocolate. Do I know myself or what?!
The homesickness didn't last too long, but it
hit hard and over the silliest of things. I'm learning that missing home is
like that. It starts over something trivial and snowballs until you can't pick
out a single good thing about the place you're in. One moment, I was fine, and
the next I hated the food here, the language, my empty dorm and blank walls,
the steep hills everywhere, my uncomfortable bed, the people here who just
aren't my family and friends back home, and on and on until I was a sniffling,
chocolate-eating mess. It was cute. In that moment, I kept thinking "This
isn't what it was supposed to be like. It was supposed to be beautiful and I
was supposed to make tons of friends immediately and it was supposed to be an
adventure."
I'm realizing now how ridiculous my expectations
were. I'm also realizing that this is what adventure is. I'm learning that I
don't get to pick and choose the best parts and call those
"adventure." Exploration is not just the nice parts - it's the messy
parts, too. It's feeling jet lagged and waking up at 3 am and being exhausted
by 6pm. It's trying new food and kind of hating it. It's being away from
everything familiar and comfortable. It's shopping in grocery stores where
everything is labeled in a different language and you don't know if you're
buying milk or liquid yogurt (we narrowly escaped the cereal/greek yogurt
combo).
I’m also learning that the cure for homesick feelings is exploring and
sightseeing. After a sniffley Wednesday, the guys and I decided it was time for
some exploration on Thursday. We ventured around our beautiful campus and ended
up on the backside of the Rumeli Hisari. There’s a pathway that leads all
through the hills along the Rumeli Hisari castle with a beautiful cemetery
along it. You can see the Bosphorus really clearly from there and it’s
stunning. We also lucked out with some really gorgeous weather that day, too.
It was sunny and in the upper fifties – a total dream for someone used to
Kansas winters! We walked along the Bosphorus, too, and on Sunday, we visited
the Blue Mosque (which is breathtaking). In my mind, it’s those moments that
feel like “This is it! This is exactly what it was supposed to be like!” and I
have to remind myself that the day in, day out is all a part of it, too. But
man, it sure does help
with the homesickness.
Istanbul is (slowly) teaching me to live with a little less, too. I’ve
learned, in my very short time here that I. love. Walmart. I never thought I’d
say that, but I really didn’t realize the beauty of the supermarkets back home.
Super Target is not a thing here (I don’t even think Target is a thing here).
The only supermarkets here are in the malls, which are generally about a
30-minute bus ride away and then there’s the whole lugging stuff back fiasco.
So mostly, I’ve just been going to the little markets around me (şok has
quickly become one of my favorites) and learned quickly never to buy more than
I can carry. I think back to moving into my dorm at K-State and the endless
list of “necessities” I had to prepare for dorm life and it’s a bit crazy. I
showed up here with a checked bag, a carry on, and a backpack, and that’s
really all I need (maybe even more than I need). In my dorm, my list of “needs”
was filled with picture frames and foam mattress toppers, and desk lamps. At Boğaziçi,
I was given some sheets and a pillow, and I have overhead lights. And it’s a
good life. I actually really like living a little more minimally.
So far, week two in Turkey is off to a great start and I can’t wait to
see what else it holds. Now if only I could get into the classes I need to…
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