Thursday, August 13, 2015

All the Time in the World

I had all the time in the world in Turkey, truly. Life moved a little slower and I appreciated the smallest of things (like clean water to drink, open-window kind of weather, and small victories with the language barrier). I'm absolutely missing my sweet semester abroad, but I am also so glad to be home. It was a great adventure for a time and I will always hold it close to my heart.

Anyways, here's a video I put together of my whole spring semester. This trip was so worth every penny spent, every stressful moment of being lost or worrying about meeting a deadline, and every conversation I had with my mom, trying to convince her that Turkey is a safe place to live :) I won't ever forget my time there. Grateful doesn't begin to cover it.

So here it is if you want it:

https://youtu.be/ZNF6tF9IK1w

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Move all Your Maps to Here

Hey guys!

T-6 days until I'll be back in America, eating bacon and all kinds of delicious American things again! Oh, and seeing all of the people I love and have missed dearly. I guess that'll be pretty cool too :)

Because I love procrastinating and have finals coming up on Friday and Saturday, I made a short little video of the time I got to spend on the Princes' Islands last Friday! So if you like horse-drawn carriages, or seagulls, or unbelievably gorgeous boat rides, here it is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tL-O5Ocbojo

Enjoy!



Monday, May 25, 2015

Brave on the Rocks


May 20, 2015


I’m in this weird place right now of trying to think through all of the things I am going to miss when I’m gone so that I can soak them up extra right now, but I’m realizing it doesn’t really work that way. I wish it did. I’ve certainly been trying – staring at the Bosphorus longer on my walks past it, eating more Turkish foods and desserts, sitting in parks and cafes longer, keeping my windows open and headphones out. And while you can certainly savor things more while you’re here, you can’t quite miss them until they’re gone, I don’t think. You just have to be right where you’re at for as long as you can, I think.

I’ve got exactly two weeks before I get on a plane to leave this city to head back home. I know I’ve said this a million times over, but truly, I cannot believe that. And that’s probably for the best that I can’t really fully grasp the reality of those 14 days. There is so much I’m going to miss about Istanbul. And I’m sure some of you are thinking “She’s still got two whole weeks left... why is she even thinking about leaving??” But the truth of it is I am a sloooooow processor. For real, guys. So it’s really a good thing for me to start that whole process now.



My view on my walk to class. I think I'll miss the water most.

May 25, 2015

For my 18th birthday, I received a copy of Sabrina Ward Harrison’s book, "Brave on the Rocks." I read it, and loved it just as much as "Spilling Open," and then it went into my book collection for a time.

Trying so desperately to skype in
Jess' graduation at 3am my time.
Before I decided to move forward with studying abroad, I made a pros and cons list of why I should or shouldn’t go to Istanbul. The cons side of things was full of names and faces of people I’d miss so dearly, graduations, birthdays, and life events I would miss, babies growing up, and opportunities I would miss out on. The pros side was weaker in comparison, but held Sabrina’s words that would come to be my mantra as I moved forward in my trip. They were simple, but very clear. “If you don’t go, you don’t see.” Here I am, a little over two years from first reading those words, and I’m just struck with the gratitude that I had the opportunity to go and see.

Tonight I sat and read through "Brave on the Rocks" again and just smiled at how familiar Sabrina's stories of traveling to Italy are. So much of what she describes about her travels match up with my own traveling experiences. She writes of the stress and anxiety and dullness that made going to Italy necessary. She says “sometimes the sickness itself is the wakeup call to have the adventure.” And that’s just it. My fall semester was a hectic one. I was overworked, overscheduled, and overwhelmed. I wasn’t sleeping right or eating right, I was almost constantly stressed and anxious, and just really losing it on the whole. And more and more, I felt drawn to Istanbul. Don’t get me wrong – I am not advocating for running away from problems, and I’m not saying that is what this trip was to me at all. What I am saying, though, is that most times to heal and to start fresh, you have to be uncomfortable for a minute, and usually things have to change. For me, that change came in the really fantastic and scary and difficult and wonderful form of a brand new city, in a brand new part of the world. And it has been so, so good for me.


My sweet Australian friend, Josephine, and I were saying our goodbyes earlier this week and I asked her what she had learned from being in Istanbul and what she would take back and how she would be different and she said some wonderful and wise things about being more bold and about loving people as much as you let yourself love them and it was all very poetic and nice. She then flipped my questions around on me and I stared back at her and told her that I feel like I should have an answer to that, but that I just didn’t. And without missing a beat, she just said, “Well, for the most part, I think you won’t know what you learned until you’re back and you see how you’ve changed.” And I do think that is very true. I can already see some of the lessons and change in myself, though, just by looking at my journal from the very first week in Istanbul. I look at the person who wrote that and she was pretty apprehensive of and very intimidated by this new city and all of the change. She tried to push down and ignore the uncomfortable moments and homesick feelings until they were too big to ignore. That person was fearful and clung tightly to her backpack, sure of pickpockets everywhere and all Turkish sounded angry and unfriendly to her ears. That person was sure they hated her and so sure that there was a sign above her head that proclaimed, “I do not belong here!”
It was in that journal entry from the first week that I wrote, “We almost got lost on the way home. But we made it. We’re ok and we’re here and we made it. We’re going to be ok. Nineteen more weeks.” That person had no idea how fast those nineteen weeks would go.







At that point, I had no idea how much could change in nineteen weeks, either. Somewhere along those one hundred and thirty-three days, I became a bit more bold.  “Sometimes the bravest things are the most simple in the end.” I learned how true that is. I learned the streets in my small radius, and I learned how to do the dance required to navigate the people and cars within those streets. I am learning what it means to be present in life. I wasn’t showing up for a decent portion of my life – not fully, anyways. In Lisbon, I watched my older sister, Erin wander the streets and truly take it in. I watched her sip her wine slowly and linger longer. In Turkey, I watched the people walk slower through the streets (sometimes so slowly that people read books as they shuffled along to wherever they were going – that is no joke or exaggeration). I watched them wait for their tea to cool at the end of most every meal and drink it slowly. And I’m in the process of learning to be more present like that and linger just a little longer. One of the cool by-products of travelling is that it really encourages and coerces you to see, taste, touch, hear, and smell more. Because suddenly, the sights and tastes and textures and sounds and aromas are not what you’re used to, so you get into the habit of paying more attention to them. Nineteen weeks ago me didn’t know that.




My view of the world changed, too (probably in so many ways that I haven’t even realized yet). Mostly, I’ve just realized how small it really is. Before I left, I had so many different connections who had friends or family in Istanbul, and it was just so surprising to me. I also met a guy who goes to Bogazici and studied abroad last semester at K-State – crazy! There is also a guy studying abroad here that I met who is not only from Kansas, but lives about five minutes away from where I live. It’s just wild to me the different connections I’ve been able to make in just five short months.


Me, obviously being brave on
the rocks in Turkey




Finally, I think I’ve become a little braver over the past nineteen weeks. Studying abroad was always this “maybe, someday, if all the stars align” kind of dream to me. When it became a reality and I was checking and double-checking my packing list the night before I left, that was really terrifying. But here I am. With a little over a week left of my time here, with a (very) little Turkish vocabulary, and with shoes that are worn from all of the hills. I did it! Certainly not alone – it took an army to get me here and a whole lot of last-minute things working out in my favor. But I did it. And I’m so much better for it.






I’m so ready to be back where I’m most comfortable, with all the people I love and have missed so dearly, eating the foods I love, and speaking my own language. But it sure is going to be hard to leave this city. Istanbul is where I learned to heal, and to rest, where I learned the practices of being patient, being grateful, and being present. It’s where I met people from around the world and compared and contrasted cultures. It’s where I missed my people and my home and really fell in love with it. Istanbul is where I learned about being an adventurer wherever you’re at, but never forgetting where home is. Istanbul has been so good to me for this season of life and I’ll forever be grateful for the home we made here.

But I am ready to come home. And that feels like the greatest gift of all.

P.S. - in case you didn't hear, I had a killer birthday at the Prince Islands (thanks, Kevin!)



Remember that birthday I got to ride in a horse-drawn carriage like a freaking princess?!


We could see the other islands from this gorgeous view by the monastery. So worth all the hills. 


After our hike, we found the most perfect spot to stop and eat some watermelon. So we did.